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How Snoopy Became the Perfect Fool

Created by Uman. on 05 Aug 2019, 10:00

Ever since Snoopy has worked as a CGB agent and had nostalgically remembered the time she had joined the Fools guild, she's been feeling a strong urge to relive this moment. She dreamily regarded the outfit she had received back then, and decided to pay Bozo a visit. Maybe he could use some help, and maybe this would cheer her up.

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In Thais, Bozo welcomed her joyfully, and when she told him that she's been feeling down recently, he quickly came up with a plan to get her into a better mood. If she just brought him some minotaur leather, he promised to show her how to create a whoopee cushion. That sounded fun, so she fetched some of the leather and he showed her as he had promised. He suggested testing her first cushion on Queen Eloise. She hesitated, but since she was here to have fun, she gave herself a push. She hoped that the Queen would have a good sense of humour and would not behead her. She left for Carlin, made sure to avoid Emma, the head of the CGB, and did what she had been asked to do.

When she returned to Thais, she was still chuckling. The look on the Queen's face had been priceless. And - Snoopy had run out of the castle quickly, so there had not been time for any beheading.

Bozo had a new idea for a prank. It was well known that Carina, the jeweller of Venore, was scared of mice. He thought that it would be funny to scare her with a toy mouse from Queen Eloise's cat. Snoopy gulped when she heard that she should sneak into the castle of Carlin again - but then, stealing a toy mouse would hopefully not cost her a hand if she was caught. What could happen... The task sounded easy enough.

The queen did not catch her, but Kitty the cat almost tore her apart when she grabbed the toy mouse. Snoopy had not expected Kitty to be a full grown tiger. Unprepared for this encounter, she simply ran for it, fled from the castle without turning around. She hoped that nobody had seen her, this would not earn her any good reputation.

She calmed down on the boat trip to Venore. She went to the jewellery directly. When she kicked the toy mouse over to Carina, her reaction wasn't dramatic, just a short shriek. She took the joke very well and burst out laughing.

When she returned to Bozo, he excitedly told her about another prank that he had thought of. Before he would explain anything, however, he sent her to get a spoon to collect sulphur from an inactive lava hole. Curious as she was, she eagerly accepted her new mission. She bought a spoon and headed into the direction of Fibula. She was certain that she would find sulphur in the tunnel.

She returned to Bozo successfully, just to be sent away again to collect jungle dweller bush leaves in Tiquanda. She did as she was asked, still wondering about this new prank. Back in Thais, Bozo took the leaves from her, got to work and then chuckled: Now look at this, someone has made exploding cigars out of the sulphur and the leaves! Coincidentally I have a great idea how we could use them ...

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He asked Snoopy to deliver a cigar to Theodore Loveless, the Venorean representative in Liberty Bay. When Snoopy handed the cigar to Theodore, he indeed was very pleased, and, to Snoopy's dismay, decided to light up right then and there. As she expected, the cigar blew up, and Snoopy ran... once again. Being a prankster involved lots of running away, she noticed. The last words she heard were What have you done you fool? How dare you???... FOOL... That echoed in her head. Maybe she and Bozo had gone too far this time. That must have really hurt.

Bozo was not concerned, however. He was so pleased of her actions that he gave her a fool's sceptre to spice up her jester outfit. She really liked this sceptre. It looked just like Bozo's. It made her proud and cleared her of all doubts. So - when Bozo told her about his plan to play a prank on a larger scale, she agreed to help.

He asked her to get some stalker blood, and handed her a special vial. This sounded a bit gross, but - ok. She remembered where she would find stalkers from one of her earlier missions. There were stalkers living in that tower with the hidden lever. She had survived that place once before. Even if it had been a close call back then, it should not be any problem now. She had trained a lot in the meantime.

Just like last time, the tower was sealed on her arrival, so she headed straight to the lever. Then she went in, killed a stalker and carefully put the blood in the flask that she had received from Bozo. She was satisfied when she saw that she did not get any blood stains on her clothes. Easy as pie.

Back in Thais, Bozo handed her a new vial and asked her to get some ink from a quara constrictor. Quara ink? Hmm... ok. She agreed to get some and decided to visit the arena quarter in Yalahar to fulfill this task.

After successfully extracting some ink from the quara there, she returned to Bozo who then finally explained: Blood of a stalker and ink of a quara are the main ingredients of the prop for our next prank. Mix it together to obtain some nice vanishing ink. It looks exactly like normal ink, however, exposed to air it will vanish within minutes. I'm sure you understand how useful this ink can be. Now, listen to my plan. Go to Sam and order 2000 steel shields. He will never agree to it if you do not sign a contract. Use the vanishing ink to sign the contract and then hand the paper back to him. This will keep this humourless doter busy for a while...

Snoopy regarded her friend with a suspicious eye. This felt like fraud to her, and she did not want to participate in a fraudulent act like this. Bozo, however, waved off her concerns. She did not want to openly voice her distrust, so she made a secret plan for herself. She quickly calculated if she could actually pay for the shields, just in case Bozo would refuse to pay in the end. After she was sure that she could handle the costs, she decided to play along with Bozo's plan and to sign the contract with vanishing ink. She was certain that Sam would forgive her if she just kept her end of the bargain. Still, she felt a bit queasy when Sam happily got to work on the shields right after the contract had been signed.

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The next prank was more to her liking. She was asked to travel the world to deliver exploding confetti cookies to ten people. One was designated for Avar Tar in Edron who was not really amused by this joke. Simon the beggar on Fibula received the second cookie. When it exploded, the confetti got stuck all over his beard, which looked quite funny, actually. When the pirate Ariella tried to eat her cookie and ended up covered in confetti, she knew right away that this was Bozo's doing. Lorbas, Yaman and Hjaern were not really in the mood for a joke, and neither was Hairycles. Their reaction was very mild, however, compared to the horde of bodyguards that appeared when Snoopy greeted King Markwin in Mintwallin. While she does not have any difficulties to walk around in Mintwallin, these bodyguards came as a surprise. She defended herself successfully, though, and then offered the king one of her cookies. When he took one, she turned around immediately in order to run away - once again. His words echoed through Mintwallin: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! THIS MEANS WAR!!!.

Wyda was not amused by the cookie either and hit Snoopy with a burning curse before she could flee the scene. Also the Orc King did not really want to be bothered and even sent out his guards to kill Snoopy before she could hand him a cookie. This harsh reaction did not sit well with her, and she felt rage build up inside her.

He did take a cookie from her after all. As expected, it exploded and confetti was swirling around him. As a thank you, he sent out two of his orc warlords and a couple of slimes to kill Snoopy, but tapping into the rage that had built up in the meantime, she killed them all easily.

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She started feeling tired after all this travelling, fighting and running, but when Bozo told her that there was only one more prank to play, she agreed to help. He needed white cloth that she quickly retrieved from a couple of ghosts. The cloth then needed to be given an old and worn look, which she managed to do on an altar on top of the Plaque Spike in Darama. She wondered why all this was necessary. When Bozo finally explained the plan, she understood. He cut the cloth now into bands and created a mummy disguise with it. He wanted to trick Kazzan into thinking that he was facing a mummy.

Wearing Bozo's disguise, Snoopy indeed looked like a mummy. She sneaked up on Kazzan, and greeted him. He reacted with a short scream, but figured out quite fast that he was being tricked. Thank God he did not try to fight her! Just now Snoopy realized how dangerous this had been. Kazzan would have killed her easily.

Despite the danger, she had to admit that this last one had been lots of fun. As a thank you for playing along Bozo handed her a jester hat that completed her jester outfit perfectly. Now she looked like a Perfect Fool, and was indeed in a much better mood than before.

But - she wondered: What am I supposed to do with 2000 steel shields now...?

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